Lectures Spent

Being a Dad is hard.

I mean really hard. When your child is born nobody gives you an instruction manual for them. You have to learn who they are, adapt to them, and change your parenting tactics. As you grow and age you must stop being you, and become something better.

As your child grows you will find the need to discipline them in some manner; teach them that there are consequences for their actions in a bid to insure that those actions are not repeated. What do you do when your child doesn’t understand consequences, or seems to have no clear understanding of them?

That is where I am with my twelve year old boy, where I’ve been for his whole life.

See, he isn’t like other children, he has a chemical deficiency in his brain that makes certain things more difficult for him. However, he is extraordinarily smart, sometimes too much so, and I’ve explained things to him so many times. Once he takes his medicine in the morning it is like a switch is flipped in him after the hour it takes for them to work, and he begins to behave. My son also has moments where he has complete meltdowns and these are difficult.

Screaming, cussing, hitting: it is all on the table when the fit is thrown. Obviously I cannot allow the moment to pass without reprimand, so we enact some sort of punishment. As he has grown I’ve realized too broad or larger punishments don’t work, they have to be bite sized chunks. We came up with a system then that each curse he says or vile behavior would lose 10 minutes of his hour long video game time. Sometimes this works, but most times it does not. What he fails to see is any sort of range to his punishment; once he is in trouble he just goes all in, acting like it is the end of his freedom entirely.

This leads to more punishment, which leads to more fit, and so forth and so forth. Mornings like today only grow worse, as he takes that anger to school and ends up in even more trouble. Me and my wife have tried everything that we can think of, and sometimes it seems to work; other times it is pure Hell. I’m only imagining as his puberty really kicks in that I can only expect more.

I’ve explained until I can’t explain anymore, lectured until I have no wisdom left.

I’m not sure what else to do.

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